You Decided To Move In Together, Now What?

Moving in with a significant other can be very exciting. At the very least it signifies a merging of two individuals toward a shared dream. But, before the two of you dance off into the sunset of happiness, it’s important to first handle a few practicalities.

Undoubtedly, you and your partner have talked about other aspects of your life or your relationship. You must also be willing to talk about your finances. Chances are you aren’t coming into the relationship with the same income, the same debt load, and the same financial philosophy as your partner. Having an open and honest dialogue about these potential differences will help you and your partner address them head on.

Not sure where to start? Here are a couple of options:

Start at the beginning. One of the simplest ways to broach your first conversation about your finances is with the question, ‘How comfortable are you talking about finances?’ Be ready to really listen to your partner’s answer and be ready to answer that question yourself. Money is often an uncomfortable topic, and in some cases, it’s even taboo. Knowing where each person stands on the comfort scale may help you determine how best to proceed. If both parties are comfortable then jump right in; but if one or both parties are uncomfortable discussing money, then you can talk through ways of dealing with it.

Handle the basics. Do you know how much money you make per month or per year? Do you know how much money your significant other makes? They may seem like simple questions but they can open the door to a lot of interesting conversations. Are you and your partner happy with your respective income levels? Are you able to meet your basic needs and fulfill some of your wants? These are very important questions that you’ll be able to answer once you start the conversation. And knowing each other’s income may help you frame how you handle the day to day expenses.

Talk about the day to day expenses. Regardless of how you elect to handle your finances it’s important to discuss expectations of how to handle the everyday living expenses. This includes the big-ticket expenses like rent/mortgage as well as the more mundane like groceries and personal items. Regardless of how you elect to handle these expenses (50/50, percentage of incomes, etc.) it’s better to have a conversation beforehand in order to minimize confusion when it’s time to pay the bills.

Schedule regular check ins. Now that you’ve had the initial conversations and (presumably) the world didn’t end, have another one. Your finances and your perspectives will change over time and scheduling regular check ins will help keep both parties aware of any changes. Talk about your perception of how things are going, talk about changes you want to make, talk about the reality vs. the plan. It doesn’t matter what specific topic you discuss as long as you are both willing to have an open and honest conversation about your financial past, present, and future.

Talking about money isn’t often the most exciting aspect of moving in with someone but with a little effort it can help smooth the way to a more harmonious household.

Happy Moving.

Daysha Carter is a personal financial coach based in Seattle, WA. If you’re struggling with your finances and want assistance getting to the next level schedule a free consultation at www.everydaybudgeting.com.